There comes a point in an argument between all Desis and their ABCD children when the Desi parent will inevitably invoke the ‘only $8.00 in my pocket’ story. The point usually comes about 26 seconds after the ungrateful ABCD child has requested an iPod, a car, or $8 to go to the movies.
The Desi parent will set the scene at the airport customs gate, where they are searched head to toe to ensure that they are only entering with $8.00 in their pocket. The Desi mother, wearing a pocketless sari will have kept the $8.00 in the cleavage of her blouse along side her $2,000 in gold jewelry given to her as a dowry. Knowing that $2,000 of gold in her cleavage is not an appropriate tale to be telling a feisty teenage daughter (note Lessons #2 and 3), the mother will forgo any further details that would render the story factual.
The Desi parent will then continue to detail the hardships of life in the ghettos of the US, how they arrived in the dead of winter with no coat (no, it doesn’t matter that they immigrated to Florida), wearing only a pair of chappals (sandals) with socks and how they had never seen a western toilet and didn’t know how to flush it. The details provided and level of venom added to the most current rendering of the ‘Only $8.00 in My Pocket!’ story will vary depending on the amount of the ABCD request and the insolence with which the request was made. By the time the ungrateful ABCD child has reached the teenage years, she will have heard several thousand variations on this raga.
A few examples:
ABCD child requests $8.00 for the movies – ‘Oh Beta, it costs so much for one silly film (pronounced fi-lum). When I was your age, we would be sneaking into the theater because we weren’t affording the 3 rupee entrance fee. Do you know we came to this country with only $8.00 in our pocket? But anything for you my darling child.’ Request granted with $5 extra for popcorn.
ABCD child requests a $300 iPod – ‘$300 for what? Some stupid iPod, fiPod? Did you know (yes, the ABCD already knows) that we had no electricity in our village until 1957? There was one radio and we washed Mehulji’s car so we could listen to the cricket match on his radio. Now you want iPod. I came to this country with $8.00 in my…’ Request granted based on how silently ABCD endures the $8.00 bashing. Any word of protest or irritation can delay iPod purchase by at least one month.
ABCD child requests a car – Even the example lashing out is too lengthy to recount here. The car, having been an unattainable luxury for the Desi parent, will only be awarded after a series of increasingly passionate renditions of the $8.00 story. Walking 3 miles to school barefoot and uphill both ways, sleeping in one room with 4 siblings and 3 cows, reading by candle light on papyrus, etc. Success is usually proceeded by a breakdown where the ABCD child is willing to settle for an oxcart to get to school. After the will of the ABCD child is broken, the Desi parent will tearfully confess that they made every sacrifice to come to America so that their beloved Monu could drive a Toyota and listen to iPods. After the drama has ended, the family will pile into their Camry and see if they can find one in a matching color.
If one is witness to such an argument, it is not recommended to take sides with the ABCD child, or in any way question the details of the $8.00 story. A guaranteed way to curry favor with a Desi is to invent a similar tale about one’s parents or grandparents. Sufficient details about hardship should be noted, but one should not upstage the Desi with accounts of war, famine or genocide. Such horrors will make the Desi appear to be a sissy, leaving the Desi more irritable and ultimately undermining the position of the ABCD, thus leaving one despised by both sides.
Do you know why eight and not five or three or twenty?
Haha! Though I have no idea about the 8 dollars rule, I wholeheartedly enjoyed this post. I might be in the same boat (as the Desi parents, not ABCD) a few years down the road 😛
Loved the “3 mile walk to a school, uphill BOTH ways” LOLOLOLOL!!
I heard the Rs.10, 8 anna and lot of other rupee variations of the story. Also, the hugely popular walking-with-out-sandals variations!
You need to post a new one, I like what I’ve read so far. Don’t be disappointed by limited comments, white people are allowed to laugh at themselves, but aren’t allowed to laugh at other races. We get shouted down as racist even if it’s not true.
Well, I am an ABCD and this post is hilarious! You forgot to add the part about the parent saying how he bought his first car (Used Datsun) with everything he had, and drove home in the rain without the windshield wipers working. (That would be my Dad).
Presumably Desi here is American Desi, but anyways the post is hilarious.
My take on Desis-
http://satyavrat.wordpress.com/2007/10/21/definition-of-a-desi/
your next post can be about how ABCD kids become the biggest pain in the neck for their parents, the society and themselves, bcoz they cant fit in with the “kewl” (lame) white guys and are unable to adjust with dorky Desi’s. and then they vent out their frustration writing blogs full of crap half of which have been plagiarized from some stupid old jokes (which hardly make any one laugh), or from a very narrow, stereotyped point of view that they have acquired about their parents.
a D- on creativity.
You Moron
you need not make fun on India
Its people like you who pose a dirty pic of India and Indians abroad
This is freaking hilarious, but soo sooooo true! I wish you would elaborate more on the “walking 3 km to school” and “studying under street lamps”.
funny. I am liking it 😛
Holy shit this is SO dead on. I always thought my Dad’s story was true!!! Eight dollars hahahaha.
This is for Yana..
I am one of those $8.00 Desi parent. The reason for 8.00 is that in that time (1967) the reserve bank of India were allowing $8.00 in cash to be taken out of India!!
Another thing that were often sited to a child was that …
“you want a car even though a bus comes to our door step.. you know when I was in school I only had a beaten up bicycle to go to school…”
Enjoyed the post
If you wish success in life, make perseverance your bosom friend, experience your wise counselor, caution your elder brother and hope your guardian genius.
omg – i always wondered where the $8.00 came from! i thought that was just my parents! now i know! haha
Forget about Desi parents when I was looking to buy my first car with money I earned working at Jack-in-the-box after college classes my brothers told me, ” what you gonna do with a car why God gave you such strong beautiful legs, for walking otherwise you’ll get fat like those Gori friends of yours.”
hahaha! This post was soo funny! I especially laughed at the “ipod, fipod” this is soo true…my parents rhyme to make an emphasis. This is so like my parents because after they tell their story and if we manage to look solemn enough while listening they will give into our demands!