It is common to hear Desis talk about actions both past and present in the progressive tense. Their belief in reincarnation infuses their sense of the present and past into a continuous, recurring activity. Therefore, when communicating with Desis, it is useful to modify sentences to fit the Desi world view as expressed in grammar. Let us begin with a sample sentence.
American English: I didn’t know you slept with my daughter, but now that I know, I’ll kill you.
Desi English: I wasn’t knowing that you were violating the purity of my beloved daughter, but now that I am knowing it, I will be killing you.
The Desi leaves grammatical room for killing the violator in future lives. But the use of -ing does not suffice in order to fit in. One must also confuse articles such as ‘the’ and ‘an’. A Desi will often drop ‘the’ when needed to define a noun but add a ‘the’ in front of proper names. “I was speaking to the Mahesh about showing car for sale.”
To complete your lesson in Desi grammar 101, add a few words for spicy authenticity, starting with ‘only’, ‘yaar’, and ‘but’. Mixed together, you can successfully declare to the boyfriend of your young teenage daughter, “I wasn’t knowing that you were violating purity of the Meera, my beloved daughter, but now that I am knowing it, I will be killing you only.”
The sample sentence in lesson #2 made me laugh so hard I almost sh*t my pants (see lesson #3).
I am desiring to be knowing to talk like that with the Auntie Geeta but I am needing more examples and lessons.
this is so nice only.
haha…so true. you must be knowing many a graduate student.
This was funny. My husband’s from India and he does some of those. He does the -ing thing, drops the “the” occasionally (at least he did) while adding the word “a” where it doesn’t belong sometimes, and adds the word “only” at weird times. He has a lot of other quirks, too. It’s kind of nice to see that Indians have a sense of humor about themselves.
I should be knowing about this blong long time ago only.